October’s Full Plate Dispatch
Remember the film Signs?
If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth it – another popular M. Night Shyamalan film (The Sixth Sense, The Village). In Signs, an Episcopal reverend Graham Hess loses his wife in a terrible accident. He loses not only his beloved wife but also his faith. When large crop circles appear in his cornfield, and an alien invasion follows, Graham finds the tragedies in his life were part of God’s loving plan.
Like Graham, through life’s troubles and obstacles, we struggle to understand God’s plan. During a lovely chat with our Pantry Manager, we wondered at the coincidences and conditions, and frustrating or devastating incidents, that brought blessings. I reflected on how we mere mortals often only see God’s plan in hindsight.
I so aspired to be a rockstar. A lead singer with a tour bus and adoring fans. Slight hiccup: I’m tone deaf (as my family or any of those who sit next to me at church can attest!). However, in my desire for the stage, I auditioned in my freshman year of high school for our school performance of South Pacific.
The acting audition went brilliantly, and I performed the two scenes with aplomb. My teacher and the arts director, Father Clarke, beamed. He commented, to my joy: “We have a new name to add to our actors roster!”
I belted (squawked) Wash That Man Right Out of My Hair. Father Clarke’s expression turned from gleeful anticipation to unease to vicarious embarrassment. I knew I would not be the next big star, and slipped into my seat, avoiding snickers and glances from my classmates.
As the students filed from the auditorium, Father Clarke took me aside: “You know, you can still be involved. We need a business manager. Someone to sell tickets – fill the seats.”
I held the role of school play business manager for my four years at Saint John Vianney. And I loved it. Ensured we had a packed house every night of every performance. Designed promotional materials. Worked with the graphic design team to produce posters. I was, as they say, in my briar patch.
Sure, I still perform Turandot in the shower, but I let go of the rock-and-roll dream. In the moment of my failed audition, I asked in a Job-like fashion, What is your plan, Lord? Could you tell me why can’t I have this one little thing? But I moved on, forgetting the tour bus and enjoying standing at the theatre door escorting parents and grandparents to their seats.
During those tender high school years, I shifted to other dreams. I aspired to be a doctor – to heal people would be so much more rewarding than nursing birds fallen from nests (a regular practice for me and my brother).
So, for my senior year Christian service, I volunteered to be a candy striper. Yes, pink striped dress and little white shoes and all. On my first day, I read to one patient, helped another untangle her IV, and delivered flowers to a new mother.
And then the volunteer director called me into his office.
Aside from the anxiety of being seventeen and called to a supervisor’s office on my first day, I was curious and concerned. Had I done something wrong?
He tapped his pen on a pad of paper and said, “I think you would be an asset in our human resources department. They are desperate for help, and I’d like to move you to that office.”
Confused, I asked whether I had done something wrong.
“Not at all. We have lots of help on the medical floors – and need help in that office. Are you willing to be reassigned?”
I acquiesced. And for that year, once a week, still in my little pink-striped dress and white shoes, I served as an administrator in the HR department. I created document management systems, completed spreadsheets, and assisted with completing required forms.
And again, in Job-like fashion, I prayed: Lord, please explain how I am doing Your work when sick people need help? I will never become a doctor by filing job applications and calculating statistics.
If I had listened, if I had learned, I would have grasped His plan for me that much sooner. Over the years, I pursued careers in engineering, public relations, creative writing, fine art, television, and restaurant management. I aimed to study, seek opportunities, and try, but each path would lead to a dead-end disappoinment because God has a plan. I just didn’t see it.
When I was in preschool, adult family members would comment after I would argue for permission to stay up late or have dessert before dinner: She would make one heck of a lawyer. In college, after a successful debate, my professor quipped: I wouldn’t want to be up against you in court! My writing professor’s long critical commentary on a short-story ended with: I love your persuasive essays. You should consider the law.
Imagine a toddler stamping her feet when her mother refuses to buy her that stuffed rabbit: That was my emotional experience. Lord, please let me have just one of my dreams come true!
And all the while, He was showing me exactly who He created me to be. He was showing me exactly how I would serve others. He was pruning my life so that it would produce more fruit.
Read the Book of Ruth: God is mentioned only once, yet throughout, the tragedies and roadblocks set before Naomi and Ruth lead to triumph and blessings. Ruth is King David’s great-grandmother. Her progeny lead to the birth of Jesus Christ.
So, I ask you: Are you listening to His voice? Are you watching for His signs?
Wrestling with knowing and understanding God’s plan is a journey of faith, prayer, surrender, and trust. The goal is to align your will with God’s and find peace amidst life’s uncertainties.
So, I ask you: What brought you to this page? What is God asking you to do?
